Monday, June 4, 2012

Learning Experience

There is nothing that happens in our lives that God can't  use to make something good.  By human standards, it's an absolutely crazy concept, using the failures and hurts of our lives for good.  But God is in the business of restoring things, making them new.  He's a miracle worker even today and I continue to be in awe of Who He is and what He is doing. 

On my life's highway, I've come across many friends and family members who've lost a baby.  My earliest memory of miscarriage was that of my aunt and uncle losing two babies.  One, their daughter Megan, was stillborn.  Their pain was and still is incomprehensible to me.  Megan had been alive, my aunt had felt her movements. Even today, twenty something years later, she remembers Megan on her birthday and longs for her. 

One of my closest and best friends suffered four miscarriages.  One mothers' day, after the last, I wrote her a note to let her know I was praying for her and knew it would be a difficult day for her.  She went on to have a full hysterectomy at an age way too young. Many would say she'd been dealt a bad hand.

And still I have friends who desperately long for children but haven't been able to conceive. I dare not claim to know their hurt.

But in all of these, God is good. He is working and using these ladies and their spouses to give hope.  To show,at least me, that this is not the end.  This life is too short and the Lord has so much more He still wants to do in our lives, to bless us, to bless others.

I'm honored to have for a friend and humbled by her faith in action, Holly.  She is my friend mentioned above who has four precious ones awaiting her in Heaven.  Prior to her losses, she and Jeff gave birth to Bryan and later adopted Ellie, from Ethiopia.  Had their four babies survived between Bryan and Ellie, they may have never been lead to Ellie and on to the clean water project they've become a part of for the people of Ethiopia. Not only has God done this work in them, but He has also ministered to us through them to offer healing, comfort, and encouragement.

Like Holly, my aunt and uncle first gave birth to a son, Matthew, and, after their miscarriages, another son, Isaac.  They've shown me that God brings new joy--Isaac's name means ' laughter', after all.

And my friend who is still hoping and praying to conceive, is being used by God to teach me perseverance and selflessness and joy.  Selflessness? Perhaps she even wonders about this one. ..When Geron and I found out we were expecting for the third time and had gotten over the initial fear and dread--because we hadn't planned this--we reached the point of excitement and I was eager to share the news with friends.  I was hesitant, however, to tell friends, like this one, who I knew had either miscarried or hadn't been able to have children of their own. (YET, sweet friend.) I felt guilty for not wanting this baby at first and thought it unfair that we were not only expecting but also had two beautiful children already.  It turned out that word got to my friend before I did and she was soooo excited for us.  I was floored by her reaction.  God used her to show me selflessness.  She has experienced incredible hurt, yet she rejoices with her friends and does not dwell in a pit of pain.   She continues to allow God to fill her with joy. And God is using that for good, my friend.  I am encouraged and reminded to rejoice in each new day that The Lord makes. And I pray for you as you love your school and church 'children' and continue in expectant hope of your own.

Why did God allow us to lose our baby? Cohen so desperately wants to be a big brother.  He is crazy about babies.. We don't know.  But we do know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called to His purpose.  Perhaps we,too, will be able to comfort those who've lost. To encourage the hopeless.  To remind God's people of His good future  He has planned for them.  To restore joy. 

Perhaps the phrase has worn out it's effectiveness, but I'm reminded of this call and response:

God is good--
All the  time.
All the time--
God is good.

He Is.

1 comments:

Bird's Words said...

I'm crying from reading this! You are such a blessing to my life Lydia! I'm grateful that our losses have brought comfort to you because that means they were not in vain. Time isna great healer, I've found. One day, you'll find yourself telling your story to a friend who is hurting, and you will realize it has come full circle for you and Geron. That's how God intends it to be, I believe. We share our stories so others can see God at work, even in the pain and doubts.
What I know is this: I could never lose enough or hurt enough to be out of the hands of Jesus. I have felt Him more fully in those times of grief than words can express. It's a beautiful thing.

I love you. I'm praying for you as you heal emotionally and physically.