this might explain a lot

I offer the following picture as evidence in the support of the following two statements

#1 My mother always wanted a baby girl. sure she loved me and is a great mom, but sometimes the truth slipped out. By the way thanks dad for letting her do this to me

#2 Contrary to popular opinion, I wasn't always rotund

tired and sleepy

jerry & geron
Originally uploaded by gdaphunkiest.

I'm dragging booty today. This week Jerry(my pastor) and I are remodeling the church secretary and the pastors office's at church. They are in serious need of renovation, and Becky(secretary) has a horrid color in her office. Jerry is an old hand and knows how to do just about anything. The project includes replacing all of the ceiling tile. This is not my favorite part because of all of the insulation, grit, dirt, dust, itching, coughing, sneezing, and hours spend on a latter working with my hands over my head. But that part is over. The other part of the remodel includes running all new phone and network lines, which I'm happy to say is completed. Now we move onto the drywall, painting, and construction part of the project. One week down and one more to go till we're done!

big brother

I've always been a fan of reality TV. I watch Survivor, Amazing Race, and anything else pretty much. I even still watch the grandpappy of reality TV, The Real World. One of My Favorite shows for a long time now has been Big Brother. This show is like Real World on crack. I think we are the only two people in america that are excited about this show still. I admit the show probably has the worst host ever. Julie Chen has just barely enough brain function to keep all her systems working. (by the way did i mention she is the girlfriend of CBS president Les "Geezer" Moonves) She askes some of the dumbest questions. This year will be a little different, because the housguests are moving to a new house, and there's always a twist. Last year two people in the house found out they were siblings who never knew the other one exixted. It was kinda sad. He was a cowboy from texas, and she was a goth chick from houston. This year there a sure to be some real surprises. Check it out tonight!

humpday haiku

inspired by actual events


office smell improves
odor now dissipating
life back to normal

true freedom

Romans 6:15-18
from "The Message"

15So, since we're out from under the old tyranny, does that mean we can live any old way we want? Since we're free in the freedom of God, can we do anything that comes to mind? 16Hardly. You know well enough from your own experience that there are some acts of so-called freedom that destroy freedom. Offer yourselves to sin, for instance, and it's your last free act. But offer yourselves to the ways of God and the freedom never quits. All your lives you've let sin tell you what to do. 17But thank God you've started listening to a new master, 18one whose commands set you free to live openly in his freedom!

Happy 4th of July Everyone

the latest dumb thing i've done

PU! UGH! I’M GAGGING AS I WRITE THIS


Thursday morning, like many other mornings, I stopped the wonderful golden arches to pick up a healthy and nutritious breakfast on my way to work. I get the same thing all the time.

“I’ll have a sausage egg and cheese biscuit and two milks.”

“That will be $4.12, please pull around to the first window.

Morning after morning… Now I can hear you asking “two milks?” Yes, two milks. Most of the time the biscuit is quite dry and it takes at least one milk to get it all down. And then it takes another to fully clear my throat and mouth of all the Mickey Debris that has collected during my morning commute.

Thursday however was a banner day! Somehow the fates smiled upon me and I got an actual moist biscuit. Consequently, I had an extra milk on my hands. As I pulled into the parking lot at work, I was trying to think what I would do with the extra milk. I didn’t want to leave it in the car. I’ve made that mistake before. So I kind of held onto it till I can to the first horizontal surface where I could set it down. In this case it happened to be the second from the top bookcase shelf just inside the door to my office. I casually sat the container of milk on the shelf thinking, “I’ll dispose of this later”.

As I entered the office area at work this afternoon, a horrible smell began to fill my nostrils. When I opened the door to my office it almost overtook me. It smelled like a van load of spring breakers had all decided to puke in my office or possibly the inside of a donkey. The milk container had exploded!!! What resembled homemade cottage cheese clung to everything that lived on the second from the top shelf (mostly books), and dotted the landscape of my office floor. The smell is horrendous, and I’ll probably be forced to have the carpet cleaned to rid myself of the stench.

T.G.I.F.

I was talking to my friend jack the other day about acrostics. We both agreed that we weren't particularly fond of them, and that the church uses them, way too much.

I remember way back in college when I was a part of the Baptist Student Union(great site!) leadership team on campus. Each spring before we went home for the summer we would have a brainstorming and planning session in preparation for the upcoming year. One of the many things we would discuss was the theme for the year. Every time they always wanted to make it an acrostic. Suggesting that it not be an acrostic was viewed to be a crime in the same category as beating up on the handicapped or something.

I guess this trend goes back a long way. Many times in Old Testament scripture they would use them as teaching aids for memorization. In Psalm 119 each verse starts with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. So I imagine this acrostic thing will be with us for quite a while.

I think we should get rid of all of them and only keep "ROY G BIV".