Saturday, July 2, 2005

the latest dumb thing i've done

PU! UGH! I’M GAGGING AS I WRITE THIS


Thursday morning, like many other mornings, I stopped the wonderful golden arches to pick up a healthy and nutritious breakfast on my way to work. I get the same thing all the time.

“I’ll have a sausage egg and cheese biscuit and two milks.”

“That will be $4.12, please pull around to the first window.

Morning after morning… Now I can hear you asking “two milks?” Yes, two milks. Most of the time the biscuit is quite dry and it takes at least one milk to get it all down. And then it takes another to fully clear my throat and mouth of all the Mickey Debris that has collected during my morning commute.

Thursday however was a banner day! Somehow the fates smiled upon me and I got an actual moist biscuit. Consequently, I had an extra milk on my hands. As I pulled into the parking lot at work, I was trying to think what I would do with the extra milk. I didn’t want to leave it in the car. I’ve made that mistake before. So I kind of held onto it till I can to the first horizontal surface where I could set it down. In this case it happened to be the second from the top bookcase shelf just inside the door to my office. I casually sat the container of milk on the shelf thinking, “I’ll dispose of this later”.

As I entered the office area at work this afternoon, a horrible smell began to fill my nostrils. When I opened the door to my office it almost overtook me. It smelled like a van load of spring breakers had all decided to puke in my office or possibly the inside of a donkey. The milk container had exploded!!! What resembled homemade cottage cheese clung to everything that lived on the second from the top shelf (mostly books), and dotted the landscape of my office floor. The smell is horrendous, and I’ll probably be forced to have the carpet cleaned to rid myself of the stench.

1 comments:

Pickle girl said...

This makes me think of a haiku...

Have you ever smelled
the inside of a donkey?
I'm sure its like puke.

Some things exploding in your office might be nice--like a box of chocolates. Or balloons--they're loud, and they go all over the place, but they're not sticky and they don't smell like donkey insides... But you can't drink them with your mickey d's cause you could choke.